If you’ve ever seen the show ‘Hoarders,’ you’ve experienced the anxiety and horror of the show overall, especially when they start finding the dead animals and feces under the piles of things. One of the things that has always captivated me in particular is the hoarder. The person. How broken must this person be to have let this happen? I am drawn in by their story. I think there’s a part of all of us that likes to watch these shows, because it makes us feel more normal in how we choose to live our own lives.
My recent experience with minimalism
About a month ago, my wife started talking to me about the idea and benefits of minimalism. We’ve both always been interested in the concept. We’ve watched the minimalist documentaries together and have even imagined selling everything and living in a “tiny house.” This recent interest started when she began watching Joshua Becker YouTube videos and got inspired to give minimalism a whirl. Since I’m always up for something new, I obliged.
Over the past several weeks, she has been going room by room in our house, assessing each and every item that we own. Every single inch of our house has now been gone through. Every drawer, every shelf, every closet, every box, every storage bin. Everything.
This process has really challenged my thinking. At the start of it, I was very frustrated. I was being forced to actively choose what to get rid of. My wife was placing so many things in the donate pile, I would joke that if I walked away from my desk chair to grab a cup of coffee, it too might not be there when I returned.
I never imagined we had as many things as we did. You would never guess it walking into our house. When everything was said and done though, we ended up with so many truckloads full of donations over the past several weeks. The Salvation Army employees now know my wife by name. We purged so much from this house that it now feels like a different place. It feels much more open and airy. It was a process to get here.
Is minimalism even possible with kids?
Short answer, yes. My wife did an amazing job at involving the kids in this work. She talked to them about the benefits, including an ability for them to earn money from some of the things they choose to get rid of. She talked them through a few dozen items to get the ball rolling, helping them understand what questions to ask themselves. Once they got the gist of it, they were completely bought in. One of the things that they really enjoyed in particular was the idea that some other kid might really enjoy something that they’ve fallen out of love with. They also liked selling their books back to the bookstore and getting a few new ones with part of the proceeds. One of the big things we talked about with them was setting new ground rules. When something comes into the house, something of equal or greater size has to leave the house. This may sound harsh, but our kids are fully on board. I think you’d be surprised by the attitude of your own kids when it comes to minimizing.
Some things we got rid of through the minimalism process
During “the great purge,” we reduced down significantly. If you’re curious, here are some things we got rid of:
- Our master bedroom set. This was a large, wood furniture set. It was far too big for our bedroom and our home. We’ve consolidated all of our clothes down to the closet. We have no dresser now, which is a bit of a change, but feels liberating in a way. Our bedroom now feels big for the first time.
- A car. We sold one of our cars at a $6k profit a couple weeks ago! (I’ll write about how I did that soon). We are trying out being a one-car family for a while. I’ll keep you posted on how it goes. So far, so good. And this saves us at least a couple thousand a year in insurance and maintenance.
- A guest bed. We already have a pull-out sofa in our loft for overnight guests, so we decided to focus our guest bedroom on being a full-time bedroom for our foster child (FYI, we’re expecting a foster baby in the next few weeks).
- Two large shelves, including most of the books that were on them. We kept books that were most meaningful to us, but we sold all of the others back to the bookstore. Several boxes.
- Boxes and boxes of kitchenware. Like most people, we had dishware, utensils, small appliances, etc. in the bowels of our cabinets that we rarely or never used. We kept only what we use and got rid of everything else.
- Bags upon bags of clothing. I personally donated at least 2-3 large garbage bags full of clothing. My prized necktie collection is going to an organization that helps homeless people get jobs.
- Miscellaneous furniture and knick knacks (taking up less floor space and collecting less dust)
- So many toys, games and art supplies. All of these things took up a ton of space, but our kids really only used a fraction of it.
- So much more…
Five benefits of minimalism
1. Minimizing what you have frees your mind.
When you have fewer things to manage, it allows you to focus your mind on the important things. Although you may not realize it, something as simple as a vase can consume your mind. Let’s say that vase is sitting on a table near your front door and it is chronically dusty. In your head, each time you see that vase, you might be saying to yourself, “I really need to clean that thing.” Each and every time you go in and out of your house, you may consciously or subconsciously be taking up that time in your mind, concerning yourself with this thing that is decorative and has no emotional value. That vase has the power to start making you feel negative and unaccomplished too. You’re a busy person, but every time you see that vase and its dirty condition, the negative self talk takes over. You’re reminded of how you’re failing at something. By removing the vase altogether (or whatever thing(s) are unimportant), you’re giving your mind a little more space to breathe.
2. Minimalism gives you more time.
Think about all of the time you spend managing the material “things” in your life. Whether it is piles of toys, shelves full of knick knacks, unused kitchenware, drawers and closets packed with clothing or a basement full of boxes, having too many things in your life consumes your time. Whether it is time you’re taking to move things around your house or time spent cleaning, constantly trying to declutter and so forth. By narrowing things down to what matters and what is important, you give yourself the priceless gift of time.
3. Minimalism saves you money.
By owning fewer things, there is less ongoing maintenance. By “shutting the hose off”‘ that is bringing things into your house in the first place, you are reducing your spending. Going through the process of purging is a very eye-opening experience. It really sheds a bright light on mistakes you’ve made. Through this process, we sold or donated things that we even recently acquired. It was a tough pill to swallow, but going through this process is very therapeutic and can help you understand what you need to do to stop needless spending.
4. Minimalism ensures you actually use the things you own.
I’ve heard people say countless times that when their kids have fewer toys, they actually play with the toys they have more often. It is completely true. This same thing is true for us adults as well. When my wife was going through this purging process in the kitchen in particular, I questioned a number of things she was attempting to get rid of. We had three cutting boards. I told her that I use all three for different purposes. She questioned why can’t I just use the one for all of my purposes, especially since we don’t eat meat. I didn’t really have a good response. So, we got rid of two of the cutting boards. We will now use that one cutting board more often and not have to hang on to other items…just in case.
One thing my wife kept reminding me of is that when we rent AirBnBs for vacations, we typically have everything we need…and it is only one of each thing, not several. She encouraged us to look at things through that lens. I completely related. I have several dozen screwdrivers and can never find them. If I had fewer, I would make it a point to ensure I knew where those screwdrivers were at all times. When you have fewer things, they get better use. You take better care of them as well.
5. Minimalism keeps your house clean.
Clutter is overwhelming. By having clutter, it can actually demotivate you. You don’t know where to begin when it comes to cleaning. By having fewer things, there is less of an opportunity to make messes. Also, but having clearer surfaces on tables, counters, etc. it is much easier to wipe things down without taking additional time to clear surfaces. When you have fewer things, everything has a place. Everything has a home. When you’re done with it, it is more likely to go back.
Some things you can do to get started with minimalism
The idea of minimalism can sound appealing or completely overwhelming to you. This isn’t an all or nothing concept. Some small steps can help you move in the right direction.
- Start with your own belongings before getting other family members involved. This will get you motivated and build momentum without having to run things by anyone else.
- This isn’t a race. Pace yourself accordingly, but not so slow that you lose interest.
- You don’t have to be an uber minimalist. This is a spectrum. We are definitely not near the extreme end of the minimalist spectrum. We’re somewhere in between. You don’t need to wear all black and fit all of your belongings into a backpack to be a minimalist. Do what is on the edge of your comfort zone.
- Consider getting rid of duplicate things. If you have more than one of an item, such as small appliances an overabundance of coffee mugs, etc. perhaps start where there’s the biggest need.
- Talk to family about your goals. It isn’t very helpful if you’re trying to declutter your life and you’ve got family members who continue to purchase things for you that you’ll just turn around and donate. Make your wishes know inside and outside of your immediate family.
- If you have sentimental items, consider taking digital photos of certain things to remember them vs. holding on to everything. There are so many things people store in attics and basements, but why? If it is not sentimental enough to enjoy as part of your everyday life, is it really important enough to keep?
This experience has been a positive one for our family. There is still plenty to tackle (like the garage in the spring). But, what I can say at this point is that I do not miss the things that we parted with. I definitely thought I would. I also feel a bit of a weight lifted, and I’ve found it much easier to navigate things around the house because of the changes we’ve put in place so far. It also helps that what we’re doing is good for our mental health and good for our wealth.
If you plan to give minimalism a whirl, good luck.